


first time

by canadino



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: M/M, Pre-Slash, Sfw mostly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-22
Updated: 2014-12-22
Packaged: 2018-03-02 19:41:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2823755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/canadino/pseuds/canadino
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Killua suppresses, but not too hard because that'd kill the mood.</p>
            </blockquote>





	first time

His breath sounded loud and heavy in his head, so he tried to inhale deeper to slow himself down and felt something like hyperventilating. That wasn't right, he thought; but his hands were balled into fists, his nails beginning slowly to break the skin of his palms but he thought,  _relax relax_ , and the mantra kept him grounded. He thought of other things instead: the feel of the pillow, a little flatter than his neck liked, against the back of his head; the way the sheets underneath him bunched up against the small of his back; and how Gon was moving up his neck with his mouth in what he figured to be a totally unholy manner.

"Killua?" Gon said, his breath hot against his skin. "Are you alright? Are you…not ready? Because if you're not, that's okay, I can stop."

"No," Killua blurted, alarmed at the way the hand on his shoulder felt like it was beginning to retreat. Ready? He'd been ready since five years ago. "No…I'm completely fine. Keep going."

"You sure?" Gon sounded very unconvinced, because his mouth was moving instead of working a wonderful delicate line up his chin and he was completely still. Killua felt Gon's fingers find his fists and tap upon them gently; it made looking at him in the face a little embarrassing. "You don't seem fine to me."

"It's," Killua said. It was impossible and impractical to lie to Gon. Having spent the first twelve years in his life learning about the world in Whale Island, Gon could smell a feint a mile away. "It's just that…it's the first time I've been pushed down, that's all." They'd bickered about it, and Killua was starting to think it wasn't going to happen at all until Gon suggested playing rock-paper-scissors for it; and he knew Gon had made up his mind and so he bowed gracefully. The thing about being best friends was that it didn't really matter since they operated on the same wave, a fall to a crest. Gon put a hand on his stomach and kissed him on the mouth, and Killua pulled his shirt over his head and this and that. And now this.

"Okay?" 

"And…" The words were coming slowly and painfully, needed to be wrestled out. It was shameful and regressive. "Since birth, I've been trained. An assassin isn't supposed to be pushed down and…mm…expected to lie down and take it."

"Oh." Gon was no longer on edge, and Killua supposed he wasn't either. His fists were tight but he was no longer drawing blood. Gon was tracing lazy doodles along the side of his head thoughtfully. "Well, I don't want to die having sex with you, Killua, because I don't think I want this to be the first and last time I do it with you. So how about you go on top?"

"Go," Killua sputtered, a little horrified that the words  _having sex_ and  _with you_ and  _we should do this again before we've even done it_ were registering with gleeful acceptance in his head, "go on top?"

"Well, not figuratively." Gon wasn't willing to give that up, that much was clear. "But…you know." Gon was a man of action, not words; Killua felt himself, though still blessed with a slight height difference even at eighteen, lifted and maneuvered until he was settled comfortably on top of Gon. Killua supposed it was a testament to Gon's dedication that he was still hard against his stomach even after that unsightly mishap, but for all his instinctive reactions, Killua too had been nice and ready and so - there. "Is this better?" Gon asked, concern bright and blatant on his face and in his voice. "Do you feel less uncomfortable?"

He did; his breathing was coming back normal, though still shallow given the circumstances, and he wasn't seeing red anymore. Killua shifted, the friction sweet and low, and cupped Gon's face with his hands and kissed him. "You always think of me first."

Gon laughed, his hands on Killua's waist traveling down for a nice feel. "But isn't it mutual?"

**Author's Note:**

> Fumbling gonkillu and power bottom Killu are my absolute faves behind two-faced!Gon and power bottom pika.


End file.
